14 Mar Surviving Mothers Day… when you’re desperate to be a Mum
Wanting to be a mum
So Mother’s Day has come round again. Another reminder that everyone else has the baby you so desperately want. I always found this day tough, and it didn’t help that the build up seemed to last for weeks. It was impossible to escape the cards and gifts that were in my face everywhere I went.
One year my lovely god-daughter sent me a mother’s day card… a really nice gesture I thought. And it gave me faith that those close to me hadn’t forgotten what I was going through, or how hard it was…
So here are my tips for coping with this annual event, without totally losing the plot….
- Remember you are not alone. The brain always sees what we’re looking for….therefore on Mother’s Day you will see Mums! But there are so many women out there who are just like you…. struggling through the same journey. There are also women who long to be pregnant but haven’t met the right person yet. Or women who have sadly lost their Mum, or even lost a child…. Often on this journey it feels like we are the only one, but we’re really not.
- Celebrate your own Mum. Don’t forget to appreciate the mother figure you have in your life. Once you have your own family you won’t have as much time to do this (believe me, you won’t!). And did you know it’s been proven that being grateful increases happiness and decreases depression – all very important when you are trying to get pregnant.
- Indulge Yourself– Ok you would prefer to be a Mum, but how about spending the day doing the stuff you wouldn’t have the luxury of doing when you are one. Have breakfast in bed….watch movies all day …book a massage…go to the Sea…whatever makes you happy. You will look back at those times so fondly when you do have your family, especially when the only time you get to yourself is in the toilet – you think I’m joking!
And I don’t mean to be flippant when I talk about ‘when’ you become a Mum.
I work a lot on mindset with my Fertility Coaching clients. How we talk to ourselves internally when we’re on this journey is so important. If we want to achieve this goal, we have to make sure that our internal chatter is saying the same thing! Less of the ‘if’ and more of the ‘when’.
Think about any goal in life….whether that’s going after a new job, a new house, or a sporting achievement. To do what it takes to achieve that goal you have to believe it’s going to happen. For starters that means seeing yourself achieving it and talking like it’s going to happen. Do you think Mo Farah ever said to himself, I’m just not sure if I will ever win the 1500 metres?? He knew damn well he would, and that’s exactly what he did.
So have a listen to the internal chatter in your head… are you supporting yourself on this journey?
And back to Mother’s Day. Before you know it another one will be over. And hopefully next year you will be celebrating for different reasons. But in the meantime, make a fuss of yourself, and your own Mum….you deserve it.
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