New mum life
As this amazing website and network launches I wanted to take this opportunity to write a short blog about how important it is for women’s wellbeing to take a very long pause after birth and quite frankly, milk it!
Carving out precious space to hibernate (whatever the season) and spend time in pjs, drinking endless cups of tea while Phil and Holly find out all the soap gossip, is what the post natal time does best.
Being a new mum, one may find that the whole postpartum stage resembles something like the great fog of 1952! Trying to navigate this time as she transitions from young free and spontaneous to massive responsibility and broken sleep, is a minefield. And it’s this way for first time mums and for second or third time around mums, adjusting to something new.
If parents, close friends and family are close by, use them! Say yes to the food parcels, to the help running errands, to the extra pair of hands around the house and definitely say yes to holding the baby so you can go to the loo for the first time in hours!
If there is no family near by, or a more neutral support may be helpful, post natal doulas can be that support. We all come in different styles and varieties. Some cook, some clean, some nanny for siblings, some are trained in post natal massage and some specialise in breast feeding support. Take time deciding what is needed. Be it emotional or physical help, or both, or just some reassurance, we are here to bring some respite, confidence and an almighty heartwarming boost!
Postnatal doula in Surrey
As a post natal doula I feel passionately about giving all mum’s permission to heal, recover and bond with baby in their own space, own time, own way. MummaBaby space is about holding that space, respecting mums needs and gently reminding her there are always options.
So many women feel under pressure to return to work, keep up with the household jobs, be sociable, have visitors and stay busy, going out and being active. However, during the fourth trimester, home should be a sanctuary. A little nest, to bond with baby, rest, recuperate, feed, love, snuggle, be nourished and nurtured.
A women’s body goes through huge changes during pregnancy and once that baby arrives, it takes a long time for the body and mind to regroup. It certainly makes it a challenge when we throw in the hormone changes, the healing on the inside that cant be seen and being thrown in at the deep end with any form of functioning on broken sleep, sore breasts and feeling like daisy the cow.
A post natal doula is there to quite simply, stay on top of things. By being there as an all round, practical, emotional and holistic support, they can free up time for mum to navigate any tricky areas she’s experiencing. This in turn can help free up head space and create space to focus on this gorgeous new baby’s needs. A happy baby is a happy mummy. A new baby’s high dependence can throw any mum through hoops (sometimes with flames!). And since they only speak baby language, mummy has to start from scratch and learn babies queues. Easier said than done, especially after three hours sleep!
Hire a doula
Hiring a post natal doula is not weak, it does not mean you have failed and it certainly isn’t something to feel ashamed about. In fact, it can be enormously empowering, normalising any worries or fears and restoring balance. Getting a new perspective and having a signpost to any necessary specialised support can be a neutral sounding board. It’s also an effective way of offloading any concerns or anxieties that can sometimes become toxic and debilitating. You need to create the perfect conditions for optimum healing, mind and body connection and a more relaxed, peaceful postpartum period. This means mum can be a mother and while she is busy doing that, we can mother her.
So my message today is just, Mumma, you have to milk it! Not just for baby, but for you!
To book Sam as a postnatal doula in Surrey, visit her expert profile below.